Failure
by StarQuality
Summary: He's failed again, but this time, he's especially cheesed off. Will Rimmer take drastic measures to end the pain? SELF HARM & RimmerLister SLASH WARNING! [BEING REVISED]
1. Being a failure

**Title:** Failure

**Author:** StarQuality

**Disclaimer:** I didn't own Red Dwarf the last time, I don't own it now.

**Summary: **He's failed again, but this time, he's especially cheesed off. Will Rimmer take drastic measures to end the pain?

**A/N: ** So... My first Red Dwarf fic. My first slash fic. My first Red Dwarf slash fic. It includes slash and Red Dwarf. Obviously. Sorry. Why am I apologising? Just am. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Well, actually, I wouldn't call it slash. It's slash-y, rather than.. slash. This is pre-Red Dwarf, (IE: Before the series started.. Or, it could be series 8, but that wouldn't make much sense.) so, Rimmer is alive, the crew are alive, there's no Cat or Kryten, but that doesn't matter, as they aren't in it. The definitions at the start are from 'The Collins Dictionary and Thesaurus'. And what is it with me and one-word titles?! I felt weird writing this, as I adore Chris/Rimmer, and I'm not into all of the self-harm stuff, it makes me feel ill.

* * *

**'Fail. To be unsuccessful in an attempt. To stop operating or working properly. To neglect or be unable to do something. To prove insufficient in quantity or extent. To weaken. To go bankrupt. A failure to attain the required standard. To prove disappointing or useless to someone. To judge, or be judged as being below the officially accepted required in a course, examination etc.'**

** 'Failure. The act or an instance of failing. Nonperformance of something required or expected. Cessation of of normal operation. A decline or loss, as in health. Bankruptcy. An insufficiency. The fact of not reaching the required standard in an examination, test, etc. A person or thing that is unsuccessful or disappointing.'**

Rimmer closed the dictionary and then looked at the piece of paper in front of him. He didn't read it, but just saw the word, _'FAIL'_, in large letters. Once again, Arnold Judas Rimmer had failed his exam. It wasn't the first time, and most probably wouldn't be the last. This time, however, Rimmer KNEW why he had failed. It was because he had other things on his mind, other things that, for once, he thought were more important than passing. But it still depressed him.

He sighed deeply and pushed the letter away from him, burying his head into his hands. Silently, he began to sob. The tears rolled down his face and splattered onto the table, staining the magazine that Lister had left there. The more he thought about the exam, the more he cried. Rimmer didn't often cry, but when he did, it seemed as if all of the depression inside him came out during those few minutes.

**"Oh...'** He moaned softly. Opening his eyes, Rimmer dried his eyes, and realised that his bunkmates magazine was getting wet. **"Oh..." **He said again, moving it so that it wouldn't get damaged. **"Oh... I'm a failure..."** The tears came on again, and they time, he let rip, walking around the room, finally coming to a stop in front of the mirror above the sink. **"You're a failure, Rimmer, a BLOODY FAILURE!"**

That's when he noticed the gleaming razorblades sitting by the shampoo. They were his, he knew how sharp they were. Definitely sharp enough to cut through skin, he had cut his face enough times with them. Rimmer picked up the packet and looked at it, then down at his wrists. Was he strong enough, did he really want to face all of the pain? **"Come on, you've faced enough pain in your life. One simple slash." **But was it really worth it? **"One slash and it's over, Arnold. One slash."**

Would anybody miss him? Sure, he had no-one he thought would call him a 'friend', but would the crew still miss him? Would Lister miss him? Probably not. Rimmer knew what he'd say. **'Oh no, that's terrible, poor Rimmer... Do I get his bunk?' **Smegging Lister... In fact.. That's how everyone would react. Everyone. His parents would be more worried about the cost of the funeral. His brothers wouldn't care. They were never around, and when they were, they teased him. Even as a grown man, all he got from them was hell. It would end all of that, all of the constant pain would be over.

Lister. **"Oh Lister..."**. That smeggy third technician would be the only thing he would miss from his life. The thought of him nearly stopped Rimmer from picking up the blades. But he knew he didn't have a hope on Io of anything happening there, so he reached over and picked them up, watching the door in case anyone came in, looking for him. Not that anyone ever did, they always came for Lister, and he was down at the bar. Everyone knew where he was. Everyone always knew where he was.

The blade glimmered as the suicidal second technician brought it out of the packaging. He looked at it for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath, tears brimming in his eyes again, his last thoughts being of Lister.

**"One... slash...."**

Rimmer fell to the floor.

* * *

**To be continued.**

* * *

_**Nice image, huh? Poor Rimsy. I love Rimmer. Won't be depressing in the next chapter, which I will start now, whilst listening to my Scissor Sisters album. I'm not the only one who finds the singer, Jake Shears (Real name Jason Sellards) totally gorgeous? I can't be. There must be more.**_


	2. Being a hero

**Title:** Failure - Chapter 2

**Author:** That hasn't changed. (Stop saying unfortunately.) StarQuality

**Disclaimer:** I STILL haven't got around to taking over the Dwarf.

**Summary: **Aftermath of the previous chapter. What events will unfold?

**A/N: ** My second chapter of my first Red Dwarf fic, slash fic and Red Dwarf slash fic. Not as depressing as the first. Sorry for not doing Lister too well, can you ignore me not writing his accent? And for the 'at least not to a normal person' bit, in the second section, I must not be normal. I didn't know what the doctor's name was, so I nicked Ana Matronic's real surname, Lynch. (She's the female singer in Scissor Sisters. I love that album, it rocks.)

* * *

**"Rimmer?" **No reply. **"Rimmer?!" **Still no reply. **"Ohmygod... RIMMER?!" **

Lister fell to his knees beside the body of his bunkmate, razorblade still in his hand. **"Rimmer... Come on ya smegger..." **The third technician desperately tried to get him to move. **"Come... Oh no..." **That's when he saw the blood pouring out of Arnold J. Rimmer's wrist.

The Scouser stood up shakily, and back away. He looked at the door, he could just run away and let someone else find him. But he wouldn't do that. He was too loyal. Especially to Rimmer. **"Get a hold of yourself, man. Just, get a cloth."** Lister set about wrapping Rimmer's arms in any material he could find. He put a towel around his left wrist, and... What to put around the right? Lister looked around the room and began to panic. Then he ripped off his favourite shirt (The one he was wearing when Kochanski almost treated him like a normal human being.) and used that as a bandage. **"Okay. Now. Call the.." **He looked at the red stains that were forming on the material, feeling a little woozy. **"No. Be strong."**

* * *

**"Is he gonna be alright, doc?" **

**"Well, they were deep cuts, hence the blood."** The doctor explained to Lister, who was sitting next to the bed where Rimmer was sleeping, **"But, as you seemed to have got there very fast..." **he smiled, **"...and as you seem to have done an excellent job in saving as much blood as possible.."** the doctor smiled once again, **"...he should be fine. We just have to keep a very close eye on him. And so do you, don't let him do that ever again, he might not be so lucky next time."**

**"I won't, I'll never let him outta me sight again." **Lister said, sincerely, looking at Rimmer, **"Thanks, doc."**

The doctor just smiled and left Lister with the patient. He knew that Rimmer wasn't the most desirable person in the world - at least, to a normal person - but he was always glad to help Lister out. Saving a patient was a great achievement as it was, and if you saved someone with not much hope, that was even better, but saving someone who really meant something to someone, that was the greatest feeling.

Lister, however, stayed put, determined to be there when Rimmer woke up. He poured himself a glass of water - no beer allowed in the hospital wing of the ship - and then sat down for a long, cold night.

* * *

**"So, you used your.. favourite shirt?" **

**"Yeah.. Well, you were bleedin' all over the floor man, I didn't want to have to clean that up."**

Rimmer, who had woken up a few hours later, pretended to look shocked and hurt. **"Really, Listy?"**

**"Nah, course not." **Lister took a swig of the beer he'd smuggled in. Once again, Rimmer looked shocked. **"What?" **Lister grinned. He was just happy to have Rimmer back again, even if he was just about to launch into a lecture.

**"You know, Lister, if you keep drinking like you do, it'll be me visiting you in hospital, after extensive liver surgery." **Rimmer said, with just a hint of a smile. **"But, as you saved me. I'll let you off."**

**"Really?"** Lister prepared to fall off of his chair, **"I won't be goin' on report?"**

**"Nope. In fact, I'm forgetting about all the smeggy things you do to me in the future." **

**"Future. So, this won't happen again then?" **Lister looked at the bandages that were wrapped around his bunkmate's arms.

Rimmer noticed he was looking, and looked down as well. They were a painful reminder of what he had done. **"No. Never again."**

**"Good, cos..."**

**"What?" **Rimmer sat up.

**"Nothin', just... Don't do anything like that again."**

* * *

With Lister's help, Rimmer got out of bed on his second day of being in the hospital wing. The doctor had been surprised that he wasn't the irritating Rimmer everyone had described him to be, and was not releasing him early, but he thought he was well enough to leave.

**"Thanks Doctor."** Rimmer said, as he unsteadily left the room. Lister was right behind him, but he stopped to talk to Dr. Lynch, whilst Rimmer waited outside for him.

**"Listen, I just want to thank you..."**

**"Well, I hardly did anything, you saved him." **Dr. Lynch smiled at the confused slob, **"Take care of him."**

**"Oh.. I will."**

* * *

**TBC...**

* * *

**_Yes, TBC is right. Looking forward to the next chapter? I am. I have my 'Scissor Sisters' album to listen to. Good LORD, is it possible to be in love with a CD?_**

**_Answer my own question. Yes. 'The Rasmus' album and me. Yes, it's possible to be in love with a CD._**


	3. Being a lover

**Title:** Failure - Chapter 3

**Author:** Still me, StarQuality

**Disclaimer:** Let's just put it this way, I can't even afford a CD.

**Summary: **During his recovery period, Rimmer learns some things that he wanted to hear.

**A/N: ** And the third. This will probably be the last. For now, anyway. Up to you guys, but I don't expect I'll write another chapter. Going to start it now, instead of rambling in the A/N like always. Blocks of text in _italics_ are sort of flashbacks.

* * *

**"He said.. WHAT!?"**

**"He said I had to take care of ya. So, let me fluff your pillow."**

**"Oh don't be..." **Rimmer stopped himself. Surely it wouldn't be TOO bad having the object of your desire looking after you?

* * *

Lister slumped in the chair. He had just run down to the medi-bay to get Rimmer some sleeping tablets. He had taken a few minutes to finally go, but he was asleep. Lister decided it was time for him to go to bed too, so he climbed in next to Rimmer and wrapped his arms around him. It had been an interesting night.

* * *

First, they had arrived back at their quarters. Rimmer was shocked, there was a big bunch of flowers sitting on the table.

_**"Aren't you gonna open the card then?"** asked Lister, grinning innocently at Rimmer,_

_**"Card? Oooh, Listy, first time I've ever got flowers..." **Rimmer gingerly opened the card that was hidden inside the various flowers, **"'Dear Rimmer. Get better soon, don't do that again, or I'll get the guitar out. Lister.'"**_

_**"First time I've ever sent them."** Lister admitted sheepishly. **"Hope you're not allergic or anything."**_

_**"No Listy, they're lovely, thanks."**_

_**"No problem." **_

Then, Lister had looked at the floor, where there was a small pool of blood that he'd missed when he'd try to get rid of all evidence of Rimmer's suicide attempt. He quickly covered it up with his foot. Squelch.

_**"What was that noise?" **Rimmer asked, looking at his new found best pal, who looked around, trying to act innocent. **"Hmm, funny. Oh well." **He moved over to the bed, and sat down with a soft moan, his arm still stung, and every piercing pain reminded him that if it hadn't have been for David Lister, he would have been dead, or worse, a hologram. **"David?"**_

_**"Yes.. Err.. Arnold?" **_

_**"Was this... were I was?" **he pointed to the floor, where there was another blood stain. _

_**'Damn.' **Lister thought to himself. **"Yeah. I'd only come back for me rollies, and I thought you'd fainted or... just fallen over. But when I didn't get a response after calling you a smegger, I started to get worried."**_

_Rimmer and Lister shared a laugh. Their first, in fact._

**_"Worried? You were.. worried about... me?" _**

**_"Yeah, why shouldn't I've been?"_**

_**"No, it's just... No-one's ever been worried ABOUT me before... I mean, not counting Dad worrying about me not getting into the Space Corps..." **Lister wasn't sure whether that was a joke or not, so he just continued smiling._

**_"Really?"_**

_**"It's true. Who'd care for old Bonehead, eh?" **Rimmer gave a shallow laugh,_

_**"Me." **Lister said, looking serious for a change, **"I care about you. I care about you a smegging lot." **He stood up and went to sit next to Rimmer, who moved up to give him more room. **"Otherwise I would've left you, and then only cared about which bunk I would sleep in."**_

_Rimmer flung his arms around Lister, who, at first, looked terrified, but then relaxed into it. He wasn't sure, but he was sure he hear Rimmer say a muffled thank you._

_**"Thank you."** Lister heard it that time, as the broke apart. **"Thank you Listy, really, thanks... No-one's ever cared about me before. Ever."**_

_**"Well, now they have." ** said Lister, standing up to look in the mirror. He could still see Rimmer in the reflection. **"In fact... Rimmer..."**_

_**"Yes, Listy?"**_

_**"I..." **Lister gulped and shut hip eyes tight, he couldn't bear to look at the man he was about to bear his soul to, **"I... I don't just care about you..." **he wasn't sure how to go on. He could just go and say it, or he could be a wimp and got the long way round. Lister was not a man of bravery. **"See, I've always thought I was... I mean... With Kochanski and all... God I'm not good at this... Rimmer, I.. What I'm trying to say is..." **Lister pinched himself, hard, trying to push himself into making sense. **"The truth is, Rimmer... I lo-"**_

He had been cut off.

_**"Lister. Shut up." **Lister looked hurt. His mouth opened, as if to say something, but Rimmer kissed him._

Later, as they sat and talked, Lister had finally broached the subject of his... partner's attempt at death.

_**"So... Darling, why did.. Why did you...?"**_

_**"Why did I slit my wrists, hunny-pie?"**_

_**"Hunny-pie?" **Lister scrunched up his nose, **"Yeah, why?"**_

**_"Because I'm a failure."_**

**_"You're not a failure."_**

**_"I am."_**

**_"Well even if you ARE a failure. You're MY failure."_**

* * *

**TBC...? On your space bike.**

* * *

**_Nah, just kidding. Think I'd spoil it if I did another? Well, we'll see. Oh god, you know it's a sad day when you start talking like your mother. Hunny-Pie is actually what I call my boyfriend. Isn't that a nice random fact for you. (Not a question.) _**

**_Sorry if it's a bit confusing, but it's 2am, and I have one mother of a toothache. Dentist on Wednesday._**


	4. Being a loner

**Title:** Failure - Chapter 4

**Author:** StarQuality (No lame jokes this time)

**Disclaimer:** I have no money, I just had to buy a rabbit run. Or contribute to it's purchase.

**Summary: **Breaking his promise, Rimsy's back to his own ways.

**A/N: ** The fourth, and perhaps most depressing. Poor Rimmer. I love Rimmer. He's a dude. And also hot. Oh lord. I love Chris Barrie. I wanted to write this, and John pushed me into it... Actually, he just said it sounded like a good idea, but, I blame him. So you can too. But he's my hunny-pie. Thanks for the reviews, even if you were laughing at 'Hunny-pie'! _Italics _are still flashback-y things. Oooh, one last point, a 'mimsy', in case you don't know, is like a wimp, or a bit of a mummy's boy (Not in Rimmer's case). I don't know if it's an ACTUAL word, but it's what we call our male cat. Mimsy Boy.

* * *

They had just had their biggest argument. Rimmer hadn't liked the way Lister handled them being teased. Lister didn't like the way Rimmer handled it. It started out as a stupid, petty disagreement, but escalated into a full blown feud. Lister had started it, really, but Rimmer had carried it on.

_**"Smeg, Rimmer, you didn't have to tell him to smeg off, he was only 'avin a laugh."**_

**_"He said we were queer!"_**

**_"We are!"_**

**_"Why do you have to be such a wet blanket?!"_**

**_"ME!? You're the one... No, in fact, let's not fight, eh?"_**

**_"... I'm the one who, what, Lister?!" _**

**_"Well, you DO have a tendency to be..."_**

**_"Be WHAT?!"_**

**_"... Be a bit of a... Well, a bit of a mimsy..."_**

**_"OH! I SEE! THIS, from the man who thinks that he's God's gift to vindaloo!"_**

**_"What the smeg's that supposed to mean?"_**

And then they broke up.

* * *

Rimmer was alone. Not that that was any different to any other time. But it was.

He wasn't just alone in the room, after Lister had stormed out, but he felt that he now had no-one.

He noticed the razorblades again.

With a small smile, Arnold Judas Rimmer picked them up.

Again.

* * *

Cautiously, Rimmer removed the bandages that were covering up the wounds from his previous suicide attempt. The scars were still tender, and Rimmer looked over them for the first time. The painful memories of it all, flooded back, reminding him of the failure that he had decided he was. The failure that he had thought he was, until Lister and him had finally succumbed to their feelings.

**"I'm still a failure." **he said, to no-one in particular, **"Can't even keep a boyfriend." **Rimmer laughed at himself, a shrill, cutting laugh, **"Lister won't save me this time. He doesn't care. He only wants to get his leg over. Goit."**

Rimmer didn't have to talk himself into it.

He slashed his wrist with one quick movement.

The blade cut through the skin easily.

The blood poured once again.

* * *

**'Suicide. The self-inflicted ruin of one's own prospects or interests. Reckless; extremely dangerous. The act or an instance of killing oneself intentionally. A person who kills himself intentionally. **

* * *

**TBC...?**

* * *

**_Cough Not sure if that worked or not. But anyway, I quite liked it. Inspired MOSTLY by John, but I had 'Keane - Bedshaped' playing, and that, to me, is a hideously depressing song. But much loved by young Mrs Barrie... Me. (Oh lord, don't I wish.)_**

**_Anyway, it's a short one. I probably will go on. In fact, I'll write the next, and if ya'll like it, I'll post it._**


	5. Being a prisoner

**Title:** Failure - Chapter 5

**Author:** StarQuality, baby.

**Disclaimer: **If I owned RD, would I have power over Chris Barrie? If so, I am SO getting a loan!

**Summary: **Lister blames Lister.

**A/N: ** I'm still here. Ya'll knew I couldn't let Rimsy die! Anyway, read. You might as well, you read the others! I know I said I'd wait until you guys said if you liked it or not, but I wrote it, and yes. Well I think I'll finish this, do the next, then go to bed... I think there'll be six or seven chapters.

* * *

**"He's gone, son, there's no bringing him back."**

**"No.. Please..."**

**"We did all we could, I'm sorry."**

**"No... He can't be."**

**"Lister, if you slash your wrists twice in as many weeks, you're not going to live very long."**

**"No, he's still there. He has to be."**

**"Give it up, son."**

**"I can't. I can't give up on him."**

* * *

Lister walked slowly through the ship. Everyone he passed shock their heads. A few people sniggered. They hadn't heard the news. They didn't know that the man that he loved was nearly dead.

**"Oooh, look, it's gay-boy!" **said the First Technician who had taunted them before.

All of the anger and grief that had been trying to get out of Lister finally escaped. He turned around and said, **"Shut, your mouth, Wilks."**

**"And what are YOU gonna do, ya shirtlifter?!"**

Wilks had a bloodied nose, Lister had a sore hand.

And, he was sent to a cell to cool down.

* * *

**"Lister. Visitor." **The gruff prison guard announced, barging into the room where Lister was sitting on the bed, head in his hands.

Lister looked up, Doctor Lynch was standing in the doorway. The guard left, and the door slammed shut. **"Hey."** Lister mumbled, his head returning to his hands.

**"Dave..."**

**"Doc, you can't cheer me up. Rimmer's gone, he's gone, and it's all my fault. I'm a total git. I've managed to kill me lover, and now I'm banged up. I can't do anything right. I'm such a..."**

**"Failure?"**

Lister burst into tears, Dr. Lynch went over to him, and put his arm around the sobbing figure.

**"Come on Lister, it's not your fault..."**

**"It is... I... We had a row." **Lister screamed, **"I KILLED HIM..."**

**"No, you didn't, he killed himself..."**

**"STOP IT!" **Lister jumped up, and started pacing the room, **"SHUT UP, JUST, JUST, SHUT UP! I KNOW HE DID, ALRIGHT, I KNOW!"**

He sat down on the floor, starting to weep once again. Lister's head was filled of images of his partner, lying in a hospital bed, yet again. But this time, in the intensive care unit, surrounded by wires and machines.

**"I... I'm sorry, doc." **Lister looked up, drying his eyes. The doctor had disappeared. **"God... I'm... such... an idiot..."**

Lister had lost his friend.

Lister had lost his lover.

And now, Lister's heart was breaking.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**_Sobs silently to self Poor Lister. I now need to write the next chapter. All very short, aren't they, but, quality over quantity (No dirty jokes about me and and someone called Mr. Quantity, heard it before.), if you can class that as quality. Still, it has to get worse before it gets better. Like Rimmer!_**

**_God, if you look at your keyboard carefully, you find the strangest things. In between my keys, I have some shiny paper (From an Easter Egg), a bit of a paracetomal, what LOOKS like a noodle and something... white. Shrugs_**


	6. Being an optimistic pessimist

**Title:** Failure - Chapter 6

**Author:** You KNOW it's me, StarQuality. (Get the white coats, she's talking to herself again.)

**Disclaimer: **Nope, nada. Don't feel I need to. I have RIGHTS, you know. ALRIGHT, well, as you can see from the writings before and after this chapter, I do, not, own, Red, Dwarf!

**Summary: **Lister tries to get Rimmer to wake up.

**A/N: **Meh. Just read. I'm getting tired, as you can probably see.

* * *

**"Just let me out, just for ten minutes." **Lister was on his knees. But not in a way Rimmer would've liked. He was on his knees, begging Ackerman to let him out of prison. **"It's not as if I did anythin'!" I mean, it's not like I snuck a cat or board!"**

**"You punched someone who is senior to you!"**

**"But it was WILKS! He's only a TECHNICIAN!"**

**"That would be like me punching Captain Hollister, because he's only the captain!" **Ackerman said, standing his ground.

**"What about the Captain?"**

Captain Hollister was standing behind Ackerman, with a rare smile directed at Lister. **"Sir, you wouldn't mind if I went to see Rimmer, would ya?"**

**"No, of course not."**

**"But Sir..."**

**"Thanks, Sir."**

Lister got up, grinned at Ackerman, saluted to Hollister, and quickly walked out of the cell.

**"Now, Ackerman, You're not telling me you weren't going to let him go?"**

**"Of course I was Sir. I mean..." **the surly man gave a forced smile, **"Nicey Ackerman, that's me."**

* * *

Lister made his way to the hospital wing. This time, everyone gave him a warm and encouraging smile. They had all been ordered too, and none of them wanted to end up with a broken nose, like Wilks had received from Lister

**"How's Rimmer?" **

**"Hey Lister, how's Arnold?"**

**"Listy!"**

**"He's... Stable."** Lister said, not stopping, determined to get to his ex-lover without looking at anyone. **'If I can get there without seeing anyone's fake smiles, he'll be okay. He'll be smiling. He'll be shouting at someone... He'll be alive...' **he thought to himself, as he pushed open the door to the wing.

He wasn't okay. Rimmer was still surrounded by bleeping machines. Doctor Lynch took Lister to one side and explained the situation.

If Rimmer didn't wake up by four o'clock the following afternoon, they were going to let him go.

* * *

**"Hey Rimsy..."** Lister sat down in the chair that was next to the bed, **"Rimmer, it's me... I don't know... I don't know if you can hear me, Rimmer, but I... I just want to tell you that... I'm so sorry. Really. So smegging sorry... If... If I'd have known that you were going... That you were still..." **he sighed, and looked at Rimmer's arms, they were wrapped in thicker bandages. They had been deep cuts. **"I love you Rimmer. I'm sorry I was such a bastard to you... I didn't mean it... I..."**

For once in his life, David Lister was lost for words. He decided to change the subject.

**"So... I punched Wilks. I'm in prison... You can't take your eyes of my for a second, can ya...?" **he looked at Rimmer's face. In that second, he saw all of the pain that he must've felt. **"God, Rimmer, how can one man hold in so much torment... So much heart break... No wonder you..."**

Lister got up. He couldn't stand it much longer. Seeing Rimmer, so lifeless, with hardly any hope.

**"Bye Rimmer." ** he kissed his former lover's forehead gently and turned away. **"I... Love you..." **A single tear rolled down his cheek as he made his way towards the door. He stopped, Not wanting to give up. "**I wonder... I wonder if I said that I'd make it all up to you, said that I'd do anything you wanted... If you would just agree to give me another chance... I wonder what you say..."**

**"I'd probably say... Yes."**

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**_I've wanted to get that last scene into a fic for so long! And there it is! As for the chapter title, danke schon, Karma50 (Mercedes). It does fit, because at the start, Lister thinks that Rimmer will be alright, and then. Yeah._**


	7. Being an achiever

**Title:** Failure - Chapter 7

**Author:** Star 'Banging head on table' Quality

**Disclaimer: **Well, I'm bashing my head on the table, so if I did own it... I don't.

**Summary: **Rimsy has finally achieved the one thing he longed for - Lister.

**A/N: **Read it, it's the last chapter. Ah, I enjoyed writing this fic, see the bottom for extensive thank-yous. It's another short one, but there's a wise old cat/human saying, that goes _'Start as you mean to go on'_.. So, this is, _'Finish as you've been doing all along.'_ Hey, that even rhymes. _A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. _(Wow, I like proverbs.)

* * *

Through sheer relief that he was alive, Lister went to hug Rimmer, who pushed him away slightly, giving him a jokily evil stare. **"Uh-uh, you're not off the hook YET, laddie."**

Lister pulled back and looked at him, confused, **"Wha...?" **

**"You shouted at me! You hurt my feelings!" **Rimmer tried a look of hurt, but it failed miserably, and they both ended up laughing.

**"Now can I have a cuddle, ya smegger?"**

**"Course, Listy." **he smiled. When he did, Lister could see the longing in his eyes.

He opened his arms, and Lister fell into them. He climbed onto the bed so that they were in a better position. They lay like that for awhile, just happy to be together again. Lister snuggled into Rimmer's well-kept body, and Rimmer held Lister as close as possible.

Lister looked up at Rimmer, who smiled back down at him. On impulse, Lister reached up and stroked Rimmer's cheek. **"Glad to have you back, Arnold."**

**"Glad to be back. Listy." **he placed his own hand over his re-instated lover's, and gently squeezed it.

**"Never leave us again..." **Lister put his head back on Rimmer's chest, **"Or..."**

**"Or what, Listy?"**

**"Or..." **Lister sat up, **"I might just have to... Do this!"**

Lister pulled his hand away from Rimmer's face and began to tickle him. Rimmer laughed, Lister thought he even heard him giggle, and beg for mercy. **"Stop it, Listy!" **Lister carried on, **"Please!?" **Still Lister continued, with a mischievous grin lighting up his face, **"Alright, I promise."**

**"Good." **Lister looked into Rimmer's brown eyes and sighed.

**"What's up?" **Rimmer asked, opening his arms out for another hug, which his partner gave him. **"Hmm?"**

Lister shook his head and wriggled so that he was closer to Rimmer, almost falling off the bed. **"Rimsy..."** His affectionate 'Rimsy' moved over for him, and they lay together for awhile. Just talking quietly, about anything. The Scouser did most of the talking, Rimmer just listened, he was quite content with that. He had been so starved of human contact, and now he wanted as much of it as possible - especially with Lister.

Sighing contently, Rimmer placed his hand under Lister's chin.

**"God I love you, Lister."**

**"And I love you, Rimmer."**

And then they kissed.

Finally, Rimmer felt as if he had achieved something.

* * *

**'Love. In love; in a state of strong emotional attachment and usually sexual attraction. Fall in love; to become in love. A term of address, not necessarily for a person regarded as likeable. An endearment. A deep feeling of sexual attraction and desire. To like or desire to do something very much. Wholehearted liking for or pleasure in something. To have a great attachment to and affection for. To have passionate desire, or longing and feelings for someone.**

* * *

**_The End._**

* * *

_**No, really, that's it. It's over. Goodnight Vienna. Complete. Gone. It has FINISHED, my dears.**_

_**Hope you enjoyed it, I'm actually quite proud of it. I'd like to thank... Gee... Ummm...   
  
**__**Chris Barrie for being gorgeous and being delicious and being my smegging hero and being amazing and being wonderful and basically being perfect...**_

_**Craig Charles and Chris Barrie for being a cute on-screen 'couple'... **_

_**Doug Naylor and Rob Grant for starting the series...**_

_** Everyone that was in it... Robert, Danny, Hattie, Norman, Craig and... Someone else...**_

_**My boyfriend, John, for helping me, even if he did suggest that I kill Rimmer (Or something)...**_

_**My Mother for also helping me with words I wasn't sure of (See 're-instated')...**_

_** Mercedes (Tho she doesn't know it) for the 'Optimistic Pessimist' thing... **_

_**Chris Barrie for being so edible... (My 'well-kept body' line is just so true. I want his children.)**_

_**The reviewers for giving me encouragement. I would never have gone further than the third chapter if it wasn't for you guys, I hope you liked it...**_

_**Finally, I'd like to 'thank' Keane, as they sang 'Bedshaped', which actually inspired me during one of the chapters. And Tom Chaplin (Lead singer) looks nothing like a Hobbit. And if he does, he's the cutest damn Hobbit I've ever seen, and I want his children too. (Gosh, I'm going to busy.)**_

_**Thanks for reading - Seriously.  
Ciao.  
**__**Star**_


End file.
